i wish i had the patience to sit down here and really write about everything that has been going on. and actually now that i think about it, and listen to this cd from james, i feel like i can do it. phew.

last week i spent sunday-->thursday in LA/SoCal. the first day there was absolutely everything i've been looking for in a day for soo damn long. it was around 70 degrees, the sky was completely blue, and we walked barefoot on warm sand in short sleeved shirts with our pants rolled up. such goodnes...

then it proceeded to rain through the rest of the trip. not that it wasnt great to 'get away from it all'..it just kinda dampened the mood. i spent most of my time just walking around with andy. it was pretty nice. at some points i kinda felt bad for not being with senior people...but i mean, whatever, its what i wanted to do. i feel (naturally) alot closer with him now. which is coollllllll. alot. we talked about everything there was to discuss...remember that time that boys and girls both sucked...alot? but then were awesome also? yeah. i thought so.
and then everyone, especially mr. erwin thought we were dating. slash are. but that just makes me laugh. i think the point that did it was when erwin walked by and saw us sitting in this darkened, romantic italian restaurant drinking out of one glass (with two straws).
actually i lied, that didnt happen at all. but we were in that restaurant and a lot of people walked by and noticed. its chill. so we went to compton...it was both sad and enlightening at the same time. i enjoyed myself. i love music. really alot. thats what this all boils down to. definetly.

and today was the best valentines day ive ever had. especially compared to last years [INTERLUDE: THIS CD IS SO GREAT. I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS. YAY]. ok. yeah so last year i was in new york on valentines day...surrounded by people buying things for their girlfriends and just generally putting me in a shitty mood. i felt maddddd...bad.... and...sad....life was not so great at that point. but this year. it was just great being surrounded by the people that mean the most to me in life right now (minus three or four). that and getting asked by three people to be their valentine really made the day. its never happened like that before. and its all good. naturally. we had a show at the national ethical society...a rally against war. i think we played well.....not our best..but not badly. people liked us. i was not on top of my game at all. i felt real sluggish. i was just upset i guess. bad vibes in the air. if you catch my meaning. but i mean, our music makes me happy. and i am happy to be part of such a wonderful group of people who are so amazing. and yeah. i have lots to be thankful for. i just have to remember that.

in some other news...being me, i was walking upstairs around 2 tonite (i shouldnt be up...my parents dont really like it though they dont say anything) and as soon as i got on the loud, wooden stairs i dropped the charger base for the computer. and then i lost my balance and hit the rattle-y railing. i rule.

i was talking to james tonite and i just had this really weird thought/memory/realization/i donit know. my life is like that movie GO. well, just this one time. we realize we both remember each other from the show at WMUC last march. and thats just weird. and actually, that was the worst explained thing ever. so my life isnt really like GO. i just wish it was. becuase i really like that movie.

i also saw death to smoochy today. i realllllly liked it. i reallllly like edward norton. alot. OH. and i finished the perks of being a wallflower. [OH DAMN 'where is my mind' just came on. AND IT MAKES ME CRY. FOR A CHANGE.]. and it was one of the most amazing books ive ever read. it makes me want to be charlie (the character). (not charlie in my class) (because thats funny). no but, it just made me look at life really differently. i want to be able to analyze life like charlie did. i want to experience things like he experienced them. wow. just such. a. good. book. everyone should read it. alot.

and now i think its actually time to go to sleep. there is so much work i have left to do. and i keep making plans for sunday. like, a lot of them. so i need to stop that. but not tonite. obviously. wow. my head hurts. too many crazy things going on. i am above it. i can do it. haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

smile.

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