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[sweet sacrifice.]
March 31, 2003 - 11:42 am

march 31, 2002
alright then.

im here on my last days of spring break and im pretty bored.

Just got back from spring training in florida. It was pretty damn exciting. Softball for at least 4 hours a day!

Well...i had fun.

Im just killing time before friends come over.....blah.

back to school on tuesday. Im not so excited about that...

anyways.

im gonna go live it up now, im still on spring break. woooooo!


and i cant even believe it. you know what i mean. since its just the way i am, i realize today is the one year blah of this journal. 412 entries and 365 days. i read escapes and xsnowman and went to daniel liptons house and got high and laughed with karly, thea, stef, matt, and sarah k...and i thought they could never leave. i ate reses peanut butter eggs and stayed up until 4am glued to the screen and stuck on a boy i dont think will ever understand. i played softball and rode the metro and watched kids movies and held hands. i drove in a car and went to the beach and thought and thought and couldn't stop thinking. i went to school and prom and everything and i felt special. finally. and we pondered. and i wondered how everything could be so amazingly true. and we kissed at stoplights and screamed over a bridge and watched the stars and we were kids again. i walked in and you were sleeping and we ate bagels and drank chocolate milk and made your hair ok. we defined ourselves in sharpie markers. we went to camp and drank vanilla coke and played with stuffed animals and i left my whistle in your room. we hung for hours in your bed with sesame street sheets and your hands were amazing and my stomach was the best. we played drums and jammed and ate family dinners and made your sister happy. i slept with your shirt and abused the digital camera and got glued to the internet and stuck on a guy that will never understand. and we ate at diners and made promises that were already broken.

and i can't help but think that if i had kissed you on that streetcorner everything would be okay.

i dont know why everything came out like this. its just last year. not that i'm hung up, just that ive never remembered before.

and life right now couldnt be more incredible. i came home from florida and i got in to oberlin college. my first choice. first. choice. oberlin. it hasnt sunk in yet. so i got into andreas car and we played new found glory and put the sunroof up and blasted the heat and just sung and sung and smiled because we knew that life was amazing. and i put my hands out to feel the 32 degree wind so that i would know i was still alive. that that moment was really happening. that andrea is the only person that i can sing in the car with. that i am going to oberlin. that life now is so short and we can smile because its all right. that i'm happy to not get more than 4 hours of sleep on the weekends because jen is so great.

thank you. thank you. thank you.

we went 3-3 in florida. i got sun and hits and lots of bruises. i even went hard in practice. softball is amazing. there were times, even in the game we lost 10-0, when i jogged out on the field, threw my warmups, fixed my socks, and just laughed. and smiled. because i love it. because there is nothing better than hitting the sweet spot of the bat. or finding the ball in your glove and dirt all over your back because you worked for it. ahh. i dont know if i want people to come a game or not. sometimes it takes away focus. sometimes i need to be in my own little world. yeha. thats all.

i just got 4 rejection letters in the mail. it doesnt even make me sad. at all. because..i'm going to oberlin. my mom is convinced that everything happens for a reason and that i will have an amazing experience there. and to think...i almost didnt go on that trip to visit. i almost stayed here for stupid reasons and stupid people and i'm glad that everything happens for a reason. and it is going to be so fun writing to skidmore to tell them i dont want to stay on the wait list because, "no, i plan to attend oberlin college for the semester starting fall 2003"


oh the simple joys.

speaking of which, there are cupcakes and la creme yogurt in the house. time to get to work. i'm on spring break for another whole day.

batman (0 so far)


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