so this emptiness/ weird disconcerting feeling i've been feeling...it went away last night when i was with people..and came back today. but i really really found the best thing to make it go away. and i am not making this up.
i went looking through some old stuff in my room and i found this amazingly excellent, big, white easter bunny from years past. and it gives the best hugs. i just stood in my room and hugged that bunny for a long time. and i thought about lots of things. so for a while i felt so comfortable and...well..safe.

it was just what i needed. alot.

on a different note, it happened again:

brookemks: so how was dinner with the old people
dsqd610: grrrreta
brookemks: bradley?
dsqd610: yes.

i like that.

and then i gave myself a tatoo on my wrist. its hot. and i went out to dinner with my family. and my grandparents.

it actually got really serious and sad for a while. they started talking about spreading their ashes when they get cremated. and i actually teared up right there at the table. i am so lucky to have all four of my grandparents still living and healthy and awesome. i realize that this is not going to last forever and it makes me really really sad. so i always make an effort to talk to them when they call and give them hugs when they are here. because yeah. i really like them alot. and i cant even think anymore.

the black eyes cd just gets better every time i listen to it. which is all the time. so that makes life great.

batman (0 so far)