talk about an emotional day.

note: senior dinner takes place in the old gym. we eat. they show a slide show of all the seniors in their cute/ awkward stages of life. people perform things like songs and skits, and then they open up the mic to anyone who wants to speak.

so many beautiful things happened today. blue steel sang these incredible beautiful songs, including the freshmen by the verve pipe and 'tonite and the rest of my life' by nina gordon..which allie sings and it is so beautiful. all their voices- the blending and the harmony and even the logistics of the situation all make me want to just melt.

jess, gabriella, and julie played pachebel's canon as a classical trio at senior dinner. it's one of the only songs i know on the piano so i really felt like i knew what was going on. they worked so well together and i meant to go up and tell her this afterwards but the violin part was just amazing. all of it. sound. wow.

nora cried during the last part of her and nellie's duet. they had to stop singing. so they just hugged. the song was beautiful anyway because they are beautiful people.

nikki cried. nikki never cries. i only saw her cry once. in spain. but that story isn't important right now. she said, 'mr. estrada, you don't know how much you mean to me. you are probably not proud of me now, but i am going to come back here one day, and i am going to make you proud.' that hit me. nikki is an amazing girl.

i also don't know how to say this. nija got up to the mic. nick introduced her and said, "get out your handkerchief things, you are going to be crying." she was already sobbing before she got there. "first of all, i would like to thank my lord and savior, jesus christ. without his guidance i would not be here today. right now i need to thank my mother. look over there. there she is. and she is holding my child. and before you judge me, let me tell you my story." and she did. she was sexually abused 2 years ago and got pregnant because of it. no one outside of select faculty, her closest friends, and later her creative writing class knew about it. i didn't, not that i would have expected to know. i didn't see anyone that wasn't crying while she was up there. i can't believe how strong she is..just..wow. i am so glad she let us know on this occasion. it was perfect. perfect.

i said some stumbly words about mr. peterson and mr. erwin. they didn't come out like i planned, but they never do. and mr. peterson wasn't even there. tim thanked him too. that's a lot more people than some teachers got recognized by. i just really hope he knows he is appreciated. i feel so bad for him. he gives so much...and he deserves a lot back. he is divorced and smokes too much but despite anything i may have heard (and i only know what karly told me), despite the times in 8th grade he called me 'nike' because i wore that shirt and he didn't know my name, despite the times he knew i could get A's and didn't study enough and then he called me on it in class, the times he got fed up and yelled and i took it personally...he is the best teacher i've ever had. what can i say? the man made me love science.

we got the lit arts magazine. it is fucking beautiful. so beautiful that it deserves a curse word. almost every piece of writing makes my mouth hang open and my eyes tear up...damn.

mike stood up tonite and he couldn't even talk. he just sobbed into the microphone. he could barely stand up. it blew me away. i had to cup my hands around my mouth and shut my eyes to keep from sobbing out loud. i heard eliza across the room. but i couldn't let myself go. not then. and afterwards he gave me a hug and held my hand tightly and i knew i was going to be ok. at least for a little while longer.

when the dream dissolves i open up my eyes i realize that everything is shoreless sea a weightlessness is passing over me oh i feel so light...

batman (0 so far)