well here i am. i am debating whether or not it is worth it to get up and head to guitar center for the crucial sale going down tomorrow at 8am. i am listening to the compact disc entitled 'sha sha' by ben kweller which i just purchased at target for 10$ with my christmas gift certificate. i just noticed i am typing with individual fingers instead of resting my whole hands on the keyboard in the right positions. andy does it like this.

so i got up and (jen you should've stayed for this) my dad gave me an early graduation present. it was a box filled with hundreds and hundreds of buttons. amazing. from the first bag i looked through, my favorite is a blue "another male lesbian for rush '96" or "rebel" with a picture of a confederate flag. then we took a family trip to wheaton westfield and shopped at target. as mentioned before, i had this 15$ gift card. it had penguins on it. so after much deliberation i bought: ben kweller, a 12 pack of vanilla coke, happy socks, and underdog sleepy pants. which are SO comfortable. the ride home was just us sitting and listening to 'in other words' be beautiful.

i wish it would stop raining. grad party is next weekend. dismemberment plan on thursday. we bought excellent centerpieces at the 'dollar zone.' along with that, i realized something else. about the same amount i love mini versions of stuff, i love really big versions of stuff. my mom bought an oversized pill case holder for my dad and i just laughed and laughed.

i don't know what this sounds like but it sounds like something familiar. my dad, jen, and i watched the matrix last night. the matrix 1. i must say...it was incredible. not for the graphics (which we're sweet) but for the way it was my comp lit class and the way it was excellent film making. all that stuff about reality and time and belief in onesef..i finally understand what people were talking about all year. i almost bought the fight club dvd but i realized i'd rather have the book. it almost seems like a waste of time to be sitting and watching a movie.

i started reading this book of short stories the other day. "harmony of the world" by charles baxter. i can't imagine that anyone has ever heard of it. "the body, wiley said without hesitation. 'the body is the theatre, the scene. i like to experiment with it. sometimes i get a little bored with the theatre of life, so i do the theatre of death. the theatre of death is pleasure. still silent solitary pleasure. it's not like anything happens in pure pleasure. nothing does. it's the pleasure of death, you understand?'"

i don't even understand the stories.

i saw something really beautiful yesterday.

oh no, not something...it was everything.

"things are so well. we're blowing shit up only you could tell."

batman (0 so far)